Sunday, November 4, 2012

No Boys Allowed!

Not today. One boy is out of town and one at work until later in the day. So DD and I walked the dogs, ate chicken salad on crackers, baked a pumpkin pie, watched a vampire movie with Abe Lincoln as the main character, and now it is off for a nap. We brushed our teeth and combed our hair but showers will have to wait until after our nap. I absolutely love a lazy girl Sunday. :)

DD is already asleep on the couch in front of the fireplace. I will sneak away to my big bed upstairs and just when I get comfy the dogs will come in and demand their place in the bed.My big bed will shrink as I try to find room for my legs amongst the dogs.  Life doesn't get much better then this girls. :)

Most all of the anxiety that has permeated the house in the last couple of years is gone. Almost like it left in a swoosh. It is kind of weird how anxiety can be almost a living presence in your household. You get used to it and accept it as normal. Only when it leaves do you realize how your life, your house and your awareness becomes lighter.

In the stillness and light of my house today I take a moment to reflect on how things have changed once again. And I think about my relinquished daughter. I hope that she too has the same feeling of peace today and I hope everyday.

Today as DD and I were walking the dogs she commented on how bright it was. I laughed and said "it is grey and gloomy". She said "I know but it seems bright". I countered with the observation that it was for the first time in over a week not raining. She said "yeah, that must be it". It's funny but when you live years with a sheet of rain in your heart it is easy to see the world as bright when the rain stops. I think that in itself is a blessing. Seeing the light even when the sun isn't out. I think only her and I could verbalize these things to each other and understand. Maybe some other people can too.

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